Health Beat: Redefining “Healthy” As We Age (Part 1)
By Mark McNease
Week 2 — What Healthy Really Means as We Age
Retiring old attitudes and assumptions
“Healthy” has had a changing set of assumptions to it for a long time, but some of them persist regardless of what we learn about our bodies and minds: to be healthy is to be thin (that one’s never changed – see all the ads for GLP-1 drugs now), agile, sharp. Eating less of one thing, more of another. And for those of us over 60, we’ve had to endure the whole ‘aging gracefully’ requirement, as if getting older in whatever state we find ourselves is somehow distatesful. For me, there are a lot of things I want to be at this age. Kind, compassionate, energetic, creative, involved, but graceful is not on the list.
Health Is Not a Look
Health is not a number on a scale. It’s not how young you appear. And it’s definitely not perfection dressed up as “wellness.”
A lot of LGBTQ+ folks grew up learning how to monitor ourselves, our bodies, our behavior, our visibility, just to stay safe. Many of us still do, feeling out situations to determine how much of ourselves to reveal. Do we say “husband” and “wife,” or do we say “partner,” depending on any potential hostility we perceive? It’s not surprising that many of us internalized some harsh rules about what we were supposed to be, how we’re expected to present, and what version of healthy we fit.
What Healthy Actually Looks Like Now
At this stage of life, health tends to look more like:
- Having decent energy most days
- Managing things (including our time) instead of fixing everything
- Moving out bodies in ways that don’t punish us or risk damage
- Sleeping better, even if it’s not perfect
- Feeling emotionally steadier than we used to
- Staying connected to people
I can’t say I’d pass this test with flying colors. I don’t sleep well most nights, often waking up at 3:00 am, unable to go back to sleep. And I don’t feel all that emotionally stable on a consistent basis, in part because I overdo projects and writing and, worst of all, reading the news. But it’s not a bad score.
Mental Health Counts
Loneliness, stress, anxiety, and old grief don’t just live in our heads, they show up in our bodies. For many LGBTQ+ older adults, those things can be layered with isolation, loss, or worry about how we’re treated in medical and caring spaces.
Feeling safe and understood are health issues too.
We Don’t Have to Be Perfect
The wellness world loves extremes. Spinning classes! Polar plunges! 20,000 steps each and every day! But aging bodies really don’t care how many challenges we meet. They care how closely we listen to them.
Real-life health looks like:
- Walking instead of running
- Stretching instead of pushing
- Doing a little something instead of everything
- Letting rest count as part of the plan
So What’s the Goal?
It’s not turning back the clock. It’s living well in the bodies we inhabit right now.
That might mean fewer aches. It might mean better balance. It might mean more patience with ourselves and less second-guessing.
That’s not giving up. That’s knowing what matters.
What We Can Do This Week
- Write our own definition of “healthy”
- Pick one small habit that helps us feel better,
- Notice what we’re already doing right
Next week, we’ll talk about small health changes that actually stick.