Around the House: Should You Move Now, or Stay Put?
The passing of time makes many things more pressing, and that includes where we want to spend most, if not the rest, of our lives.
It’s almost October – again! Every month seems like it’s come back around faster and faster as the years pass. Holidays, too. Didn’t we just take the Christmas tree down?
The passing of time makes many things more pressing, and that includes where we want to spend most, if not the rest, of our lives. We live in a small house in the woods in rural New Jersey, not far from Lambertville and New Hope (PA), but six miles from a town. We’ve talked for several years about moving to a place where we could walk to a coffee shop, and have next door neighbors, and see people walking into town. More importanntly, it’s a small house on 26 acres of wooded land. It was a one-room house when it was built long ago, and it’s just not good for two aging men. Rickety stairs to the basement where the laundry machine is. One bedroom, with a makeshift guest room in the A-frame attic. Two cats. No writing room for me!
I keep saying now is the time to get serious about moving. I’ll be 68 in October, and I know I’ll have no desire to move when I’m 80. I also want to find a new house while we’re still at an age to really enjoy it. Decorating. Gardening. Make it special. And enjoying it for more than a few years before that whole assisted-living thing becomes a consideration.
And I think the time has come. Hopefully a year from now we’ll either be moved, or in the proccess of moving. So what are the things to consider as so many of us find ourselves at this crossroads?
When is the right time?
There’s no magic birthday. But there are signs. The stairs that used to be nothing are now something. The yard that was a pleasure is now a chore list. The house has rooms nobody goes into except to dust them (or not enough rooms at all). Maybe you’ve outgrown the place, or the neighborhood has changed around you, and home doesn’t feel like home anymore.
The best advice I’ve heard is to move while it’s still a choice. Moving at 65 because you want to is a very different experience from moving at 80 because you have to. When you choose, you get to pick the house, the town, and the timing. When you wait until circumstances choose for you, someone else often ends up making those decisions.
The pros
A fresh start can be energizing. New rooms, new routines, new streets to walk. Many of us have spent decades adapting ourselves to houses that were never quite right. This is a chance to find one that fits the life we have now.
Downsizing can free up money and time. Less house means lower taxes, lower utility bills, and fewer weekends lost to gutters and leaf blowers. We’re faced with the opposite: we need more house. And everything on one floor.
You can plan for the years ahead. Single-floor living, wider doorways, a walk-in shower, a location closer to doctors and grocery stores. These aren’t signs of giving up. They’re signs of paying attention.
The cons
Moving is exhausting at any age, and it doesn’t get easier. The sorting, the packing, the decisions about what to keep. It’s physical work and emotional work at the same time. Every box has a story in it.
It can mean leaving people behind. Many of us have built chosen families over decades, often because our biological ones weren’t there for us. Moving away from friends who are close by isn’t a small thing, and new friendships take time to build. Luckily for us, we’re not going to move far away. Our lives our here, and there are several great towns and locations to choose from that would get us out of “the middle of nowhere.”
There’s also the question of making new connections. New neighbors, new doctors, a new hairdresser or barber, a new church or community group if that’s important to you. Most of us are long past worrying about it, but it’s still worth being honest with yourself about how welcoming a new place will be.
And the money doesn’t always work the way we expect. Smaller houses in desirable areas aren’t necessarily cheaper, and closing costs, moving costs, and repairs add up quickly.
Questions worth asking
Before you list the house, ask yourselves a few things. What do you need that you don’t have now? What would you miss most? Can you picture yourself or you and your partner in the new place ten years from now, not just next year? Is there a community there? And are you moving toward something, or just away from something?
Where we are
I’ll keep you posted on this. I can’t help looking at the Zillow listings and imaging an exciting life in another house, sooner rather than later.